Addiction and Recovery: A 12 Year Old’s View
The last couple of years my oldest boy Jude has talked about things that happened in the past, and how things have changed for the better now that I accepted help for my addiction to oxys (oxycontin a narcotic pain killer). This is his recollection of the time leading up to me going to rehab and the way things are today. These are his words (with only some grammatical errors corrected). He said it was fine for me to share with you so that people can gain the perspective of what a child experiences when their mom or dad is addicted. Although reading it brings back uncomfortable memories of what I put my family through, it is a true reflection of what Jude experienced. Thank you Jude for sharing and I love you!
“My name is Jude I am 12 years old and 4 years ago my dad was hooked on oxys. We lived in Alberta, Canada and we were dairy farmers. I was only 8 or younger when my dad was hooked on oxys so I don’t really remember what it was like but I remember a little. Every other night my dad would go out to a town an hour away and I would go with him. We would always go to subway, sometimes go swimming and usually got home at around 9.
My mom knew that my dad was prescribed pain killers but he was using way too many so she made my dad go to rehab. My dad went to a rehab about a 24 hour drive from where we lived. He was there for 1 month. After that he came home and unfortunately my dad relapsed for 6 more months.
One night when I was eight my mom found my dad doing oxys again and they got into an argument. During the argument my dad punched the wall and my mom kicked the wall and put a hole through it. Then my dad went to another rehab that is 15 minutes from our house. He was there for 3 weeks.
After that my dad quit the dairy farm and we moved to the Dominican Republic and we have been here since august 1 2014. Now that my dad quit oxys we do a lot more stuff like we play basketball and floor hockey. We go to the beach and walk as a family a lot more. Also since my dad got off of oxys he is a lot more healthy. Last is that my mom and my dad do not argue as much as they did when he was on oxys.”
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In conclusion I am so proud of Jude (Thanks and I love you) and how he can articulate the past but not dwell on it. I am lucky to still have my boys and wife in my life, and that I’m both emotionally and physically available for them now. I’m glad I was given a chance to recover from my past and to have a chance to give back to society and my family. You may think addiction only hurts the addict, but it is family, friends and children that are suffering along side the addict.
Life has changed dramatically for the good in the past 4 years and now we live in the beautiful Dominican Republic and run an addiction treatment centre to help others. Contact us today at Always Hope if you are someone you love is struggling with an addiction.