Category Archives: relapse

Denial and Addiction

ALWAYS HOPE DENIAL

One of the most frustrating factors in dealing with alcoholism and/or addiction, as a relative, friend or professional, is it is almost always accompanied by a phenomenon known as “denial”.  In the long path the addict/alcoholic takes toward mental, physical and moral decline, usually the first thing to go is honesty. He or she simply lies about his drinking. These may be little lies at first, but they grow fast. How many times have you said something like  “I only had two … I haven’t drank (or drugged) in a week… I don’t drink as much as others do…” these are our ways to keep using, it give us permission!

Call or message 1-829-932-0123 today for assistance.

As we, the addicts or alcoholics begin to use more drugs and drink more alcohol, and maybe more often, we begin to hide this fact from those around us. Depending upon our circumstances we may drink or use openly, but usually we will conceal the amount we use or drink, or not using or drinking around those who are close to us and lie when or if we are asked about it.

If someone tries to discuss his drinking with us, we simply refuse to talk about it, or dismiss it as not a real problem.  After all, we are adults now and we can drink or use if we want to, it’s nobody else’s business, what I do, it’s not hurting anyone but me and it’s not as bad as everyone thinks it is.

Clues to a Problem

But these simple acts of denial, lying about our drinking/using or refusing to discuss it, are clues to us that deep down inside we know that we have a problem.

If it’s not a problem, why do we lie about it to anyone? Are we protecting the ones we love, or work for, or associate with?  But as true addict/alcoholics, we know there is something wrong, we may not know it is a disease, but we feel that there is something different about us.  We cover up and deny our using or drinking out of our own feelings that there is something different or “wrong” about it or maybe there is something wrong with us. Somewhere inside we realize that our drinking or using means more to us than we are willing to admit.

Even though our sprees have gotten us into some real trouble, we still deny that it has anything to do with us.  Some say this is purely a defense mechanism. How is this possible? Usually by the time the disease has gotten to the crisis point, we have developed a support system of family and friends who unwittingly enable us to continue in our denial.

Because they love us, they act to protect us by covering for us, doing the work that we don’t get done, paying our bills that we don’t pay, rescuing us from scrapes with the law, and generally taking up the responsibilities that we have abandoned.

Protecting the Addict/Alcoholic

Have your loved ones ever lied for you such as “__________ can’t come in to work today, They have a virus” or “We’ve got to get him/her out of jail, he’ll lose his/her job! Then what will we do” or even “It was my fault, officer, I said some things I should not have said”

By doing these things, our loved ones are protecting the addict/alcoholic from the consequences of their own actions. We never have to feel the real pain caused by using and drinking. They rush in to put “pillows” under us so we doesn’t hurt ourselves in the fall. Consequently, we alcoholics and addicts never find out how much it hurts or feels to fall, and thereby never feel empowered to make it right either.

Although our drugging and/or drinking has placed us in a helpless and dependent position, we can continue to believe we are still independent because we have been rescued from our troubles by our well-meaning family, friends, co-workers, employers and sometimes clergymen and counsellors.

The roles these enablers play to “help” the alcoholic can be just as hurtful and harmful as the addicts/alcoholics behaviour, but that is a story for another day.

With these enabling devices in place, we addicts/alcoholics are free to continue in the progression of our disease, with our denial intact, until we perhaps reach the point of hitting our bottom, at which point even the most dedicated drug user or drinker must finally admit there is a problem. But there is no way for us to ever hit bottom when it’s always covered with pillows.

Are you willing to admit that that you are struggling and willing to receive help so you can stop hurting yourself and those around you? parents, children, friends, co-workers and anyone else who is affected by your destructive behaviours? If the answer is yes we at Always Hope can help. Call or message 1-829-932-0123 today.



King baby syndrome

The King (or Queen) Baby Syndrome is explained as a condition that relates to emotional development delays usually stemming from abuse, trauma or early drug use.  Fear of loss of control is the hallmark of this condition.  This syndrome is common with addicts and alcoholics and can create attitudes and actions that can become ingrained patterns over time.  King Baby Syndrome is characterized by:

  • You believe that your needs come first and foremost without or with little concerns of others.
  • Having blinders on when it come to the perspectives of others.
  • “My way or the highway” attitudes.
  • Extreme arrogance.
  • Dependency, but wanting to appear fiercely independent.
  • Acquisition of money or possessions to prove their worth to others (outside looks good).
  • The need for continual validation, from loved ones, friends or even strangers.
  • Castastophizing events, no matter how small (making a big deal out of small things).
  • Feelings of being misjudged and underappreciated (want credit for doing even little things).
  • Expression of superiority that masks their true insecurities (comparing yourself to others).
  • Jumping to conclusions.
  • Egotistical pride.
  • Lack of trust in yourself or others.
  • Entitlement.
  • Expecting to be treated with unearned respect and others to treat you special.
  • Thinking you can read the minds or behaviour of others (usually negatively).

This sense of entitlement impacts every relationship, as those who are close to people who exhibit these attitudes and behaviours will attest.  At home it may appear as if this person is tyrannical, ruling with a heavy hand that has family members quivering in fear.  In the workplace, it could show up as a controlling boss who leaves no room for employees to think for themselves or act independently and takes credit for their work, or an employee that is always sabotaging others good work any chance they get thereby looking better then they really are.  In friendship, it may look like gathering loyal followers and favouring those who model themselves after him or her, while rejecting those who don’t.

Healing begins with Awareness and Willingness

In order to treat King Baby Syndrome, it benefits those who see some of these characteristics in themselves.  A person with this syndrome will have to learn that all their needs will not be met immediately without some work put in to the process by them.  Since the desire for immediate gratification is a big part of the addiction cycle, this can be particularly challenging.  An addict can ask themselves “What is it that I fear most if I cannot get what I want when I want it?”  This question could help the addict look for alternatives to the drug using, such as some physical or mental activity to take the place of getting high.  For some they may feel that they are a helpless child, crying in the crib, waiting for their caregiver, who may arrive to meet all their needs, or perhaps not show up at all, or may come but be abusive or pain giving rather than relief.  For others, it may be fear of emotional or physical obliteration (destruction) or abandonment.

In treatment these issues can be addressed successfully if there is a willingness to be honest about it and move beyond it.  Learning self-acceptance, as well as seeing oneself as whole and complete with the excessive need for outside validation and doing an inventory that addresses the ways in which these attitudes and behaviours both serve and sabotage their lives, are among the keys to the castle that may help them to leave safely without falling into the moat of addiction.

As frightening as it may seem to take off the crown and hand over the sceptre, it allows us to all recognize that the emperor does have no clothes and beneath it all, we all have our wounds that call out for healing and relief.

Call or message 1-829-932-0123 for assistance today.

Sober Vacation in Paradise

Always Hope is pleased to announce that we have added “sober vacation” or “recovery vacation”. This is an opportunity to bridge the gap for those completing their stay at rehab or for those looking for a safe and sober place to relax, unwind and get grounded in their recovery.

This sober vacation option allows individuals to share their experience, strength and hope with those that may be currently going through the treatment program with us. It is designed to allow you to put into action what you have learned and decompress while helping others see that recovery is possible.

Private rooms, pool onsite, cool outings to the beach or hiking as well as the availability of 12 step meetings if desired. Stay for a week or choose to extend your stay if you desire. With a maximum of 3 guests at one time it will have the feel of a sober “bed and breakfast”.

Call or message 1-829-932-0123 today.

1 week stay is US$1,000 (private room and food onsite is included).

Take Advantage Before it’s Too Late

Take Advantage Before it’s Too Late

Why? TAKE ADVANTAGE! Before it’s to late. Hopefully you read to the end and share this with family and friends.

Today is different as I have been seeing a trend based on the communication I have with loved ones or the actual person struggling. And it reminds me of when I first decided it was time to get help.

Why?

Sometimes gentle persuasion or small incentives work to convince someone to act or do the right thing before it’s too late.

What I’m talking about is “every” guest that has come to Always Hope wished they had come sooner than they did. They wish loved ones pushed them harder and didn’t enable them to continue their act of slowly dying. They wished that the first time they contacted me that they would have taken the offer of “free flight” if you need to come immediately, or “discounted  price” if it seemed $ was the only barrier.

So call 1-829-932-0123 today.

Why are we offering this?

I’m tired of hearing the bad news of another death and hoping some persuasion or incentives will help people make the decision to save their lives. For many, and myself included it was more comfortable to procrastinate and continue getting high or drunk because it wasn’t “too bad yet”.

Other than 2 guests that came within 48 hours and the handful (that I know off) that ended up dying because of their alcoholism or ODing, most people email or call again between 2-3 months later or 2-3 years later and decide that finally it’s time.

During that time family has quite often stopped enabling and had enough or health has deteriorated to the point that a hospital, jail or death is the only other option.

Why wait so long?

I wish I had gotten help when it first became evident that I had a problem and I wish there was a better incentive to get help immediately. I wish I didn’t feel their was a loved one that I could manipulate to continue my using, I wish their was a cash incentive to go get help immediately.

So rather than waiting to end up in a hospital (likely psych ward) or waiting to end up in jail (doesn’t sound appealing) or waiting for death.

Call 1-829-932-0123 now to be the first to take advantage of these discounts that are only available while we have beds available and we at Always Hope will help you start on your journey to recovery.

Society Craves 1000mg “NUMB ME NOW!” Pills

1000mg “NUMB ME NOW!” Pills

Wether it’s just an acute (not chronic) case of insomnia, sadness, grief, depression or pain; the answer seems to be to get some form of 100mg “NUMB ME NOW” pills. I know! That was me in the past and I had dappled in anything that would stop me from feeling. If it was prescribed by my doctor or something I bought off the street was of no concern to me, I just wanted something to numb me. It doesn’t specifically matter what the symptoms are and the substance of choice is irrelevant. It just seems socially acceptable now a days to either get drunk or pop some pills to try and get some reprieve from the stresses of life.

Call 1-829-932-0123 today for help.

NUMB ME NOWSociety is moving towards an attitude of instant gratification and “a pill for all ills”. It is becoming far more important for all to become educated on “what and why” we are putting into our bodies and what the long and short term consequences will be. It is inconsequential what the substance is; it could be alcohol, street drugs or whatever 1000mg “NUMB ME NOW” pills your doctor prescribed. Any of the above can lead you astray and down a slippery slope that may eventually lead you to become dependent and addicted.

I’m not trying to say that prescription meds aren’t effective, but more often than not there is a healthier way to deal with life’s ups and downs and also pain, depression, anxiety etc. There is no “one size fits all” remedy for dealing with these obstacles and challenges but there are many options. The multitude of self-help books and websites on the internet should provide some insight into possible healthy solutions. These can range from natural homeopathic treatments, exercise, meditation etc.

These healthy alternatives may not give immediate relief and will take time to get the desired results, but the long term effects won’t be detrimental to your mind and body. Please think twice before running to a doctor to get some 1000mg “NUMB ME NOW” pills.

Codependency and Family Program

Codependency and Family Program

Due to the increase in calls and requests in regards to codependency issues and a family program we have adjusted our addiction program to address this. It is very common that family members develop codependency issues as a result of the unhealthy relationship created by the addict or alcoholic. We have also developed a family program that can help them understand the 12 step process and to give them the tools and insight necessary to help their loved ones recover.

The codependency program can be completed in 3 weeks. It will include daily 1-1 counselling and will include much of the same material that is covered in the 4 week addiction treatment program, but the focus will be on how the unhealthy relationship is making life unmanageable. The program will provide you with the tools necessary to start healing and help yourself recover.

At Always Hope we also feel that it is important to help the family understand what the alcoholic or addict has gone through. Our 2 week family program is designed for loved ones that want to gain a better understanding of what the addict or alcoholic has gone through in the past, the 12 steps, the process of rehab and the steps necessary to prevent a relapse. We believe that by having the knowledge to aid in your loved ones recovery you will be more likely to help them heal instead of enabling them to continue in their destructive behavior.

For more information on the details of the programs

please call 1-829-932-0123 today.

Price of the program is similar to what an all-inclusive vacation would cost but includes the benefit of learning life skills that will help you enjoy a better quality of life in the future. Private rooms, beach trips and cool outings are also included.

codependency

Rat Park: Social Connections and Addiction

Social Connections and Addiction:

Rat Park

There has been a lot of insight into the advantages of social connections as it relates to the prevention and recovery of an addiction. Family, friends and a sense of belonging to a group of people has been beneficial to humans since the dawn of time. In the beginning it was a matter of survival that drove us to pool our resources; humans could collect more food, keep each other safe from dangers, and share knowledge. But in the last few decades as technology has allowed us to remain in contact with others through our phones and apps, we also as a society have slowly drifted towards more isolation and a lack of meaningful face-to-face social connections.

Continue reading Rat Park: Social Connections and Addiction

Addiction Ruined My Life

Addiction Ruined my Life

Knowing these facts did not stop Miranda, a 35-year-old executive, who was born and raised in Toronto and knew all of the statistics related to the drug and alcohol substance addiction problems. She was under the impression that a little partying with samplings of drugs, or a few drinks a day would not lead to addiction. Her sentiments were that addiction only happened to weak individuals, and she was not weak! “I can stop whenever I want,” said Miranda, however this did not occur! The feeling that addiction will not happen to you is a myth. It can take over a person’s life quickly, without warning or notice. An addiction problem does not discriminate.  It is one reason why it is so threatening since it can consume one’s life before he/she is even aware of its importance. Once this occurs, either the individual must seek help or suffer the consequences. Miranda knew this. However, she was in denial exhibiting the emotions and unrealistic behavior that many addicts so possess.

Continue reading Addiction Ruined My Life

Temptation and Addiction

Temptation and Addiction

temptation and addictionTemptations in recovery are a common occurrence. Many people leave rehab riding a pink cloud and hope/believe that everything in their lives will just return to normal.  Just because you have learnt the tools and coping skills in rehab to deal with these temptations doesn’t mean it will be easy. It won’t be a matter of IF temptation arises, it will be WHEN, and what’s most important is how we deal or cope with them.

  1. Know the triggers.
  2. Avoid certain situations if you can.
  3. Have a plan.
  4. Remain vigilant.

Call or text 1-829-932-0123 today we at Always Hope can help

Continue reading Temptation and Addiction

Lost!! On the Edge of Relapse

Lost!! On the Edge of Relapse

My testimony or testimonial in regards to Always Hope. I was at the very tip of a very steep dark powerful, cunning & baffling slope, lost, full of fear, some lies, resentments and a relapse. I had know idea what to do, but knew i needed to get away. A handful of opportunities that i have worked hard towards right in front of me and if i didn’t deal with all that was within right away within no time I would have hit the bottom of that slope which could have easily been death.

It was truly a blessing when i was sitting in my vehicle with a very special person who has worked with me and my addiction issues for the last few years, I was crying confessing to my feelings and were I was and how scared I was to quickly loose all. i said I just need to find my self, redo my steps the way they are to be done and not my way lol…. She suggested I call Roger from Always Hope and explain my situation, where I am at and what I would like to accomplish within the program. He said they are able to help please come.

I left within 4 Days for Always Hope to work with Jim Maclean Head Counselor. Long story short it was more that I could have ever expected in all ways it was more than I could have ever hoped for. I found myself again. Ive regained my hope and faith in myself i haven’t truly had that in a very long time. I am sticking to the program and my exit plan, I haven’t been able to do that in 15 years, and it’s not a struggle not to use. For those who are still suffering/struggling with addiction or even just lost or need to get back to the basics please do not hesitate call Roger, talk to Jim and go !!! It could save your life !!! It sure has mine !!

Call 1-829-932-0123 today!