My Experience with Oxy’s
I want to share my story in 3 parts; My experience, Strength and Hope. The experience portion will focus on the time in my life when I was prescribed narcotic painkillers, the strength on the period where I entered recovery and hope will focus on how I maintain recovery and the gifts and blessings I have received in my life since the last time I used.
My experience is similar to many others and I have heard slight variations of it many times come from the mouths of those I assumed had nothing in common with me. I had a normal childhood, grew up on a farm, played lots of sports and had a loving family. I didn’t start dabbling in drugs and alcohol until high school and at that time it was just the odd weekends and special occasions. By the time I entered university it was almost a daily occurrence of having a few drinks and smoking weed. I experimented with some of the more common harder drugs but none were that exciting in mind.
It wasn’t until I was in my 20’s that physical pain started to bother me due to some of the stupid accidents I had when I was high (fell off a cliff onto my back…twice, drunk in the bar and cracked my teeth and split my jaw). These physical ailments led me to seek some relief from a doctor. At first the doc suggested many healthy ways to manage the pain such as phase, massage, acupuncture and also different non-addictive meds to try and relieve the discomfort. But after 3 years of trying to manage the pain properly with no luck my doctor suggested to try a strong opiate painkiller.
At first I was apprehensive and very careful not to take too many due to my knowledge of how addicting they can be, but soon my doses increased as did my tolerance for the pills and then I couldn’t get enough. Plus it worked great at the time to numb the pain and get me a high at the same time and it was prescribed by my doctor so nobody (in my mind) could tell me I had a problem.
After a few years of taking only what I was prescribed something switched in mind and I could no longer function without taking more then I was supposed to. I found a way to get extra through lying to my doctor that I lost them, or they were stolen, or they spilt down the sink… etc. It was a this time that I was getting tired of being numb to the world and my health was deteriorating. I wanted someone to confront me, but when I was questioned about being possibly addicted to the pills I came about with every excuse for my using and rough appearance.
“Life was stressful!”
“I work too much!”
“My doctor prescribed them!”
When I was approached about this by individuals I always had an answer, but deep down I wanted someone to see through the bullshit and truly confront me. It wasn’t until enough people showed concern about my well-being that I finally realized “enough was enough!” My wife, my siblings, my parents and my doctor finally stopped worrying about how I might react if confronted and came to me with a bit of an ultimatum. It was then that I finally decide to get help.
In conclusion to all you friends or family that see someone struggling with an addiction please don’t be afraid to confront. While people are drunk or high they may say their is no problem, or harsher words. But deep down I know most, if not all people, want to get help and be free from the stress and heart ache of using. I and those struggling right now just want enough people to show that they care and usually need a little(or a lot) motivation to seek help. Don’t be afraid to bring up the subject of “Are you okay? do you need help?” Maybe that is all the still suffering addict or alcoholic is waiting for. You may be instrumental in helping them save themselves. It is either an uncomfortable discussion while they are still alive, or time to start planning what to say at your firend’s or loved-ones funeral.
Next week will be focused on strength, followed by hope.