Archive for How addiction affects family

Tough Love: Enabling Parents of Addicts/Alcoholics

tough love

Tough Love: Enabling Parents of Addicts/Alcoholics

From my perspective of once being in the position of trying to manipulate, making excuses or lie to prolong getting the help I knew I needed. To also witnessing this happening when adult children lie, manipulate and make every excuse as to why they are now ”cured” and don’t need any help or counselling. It breaks my heart seeing these “kids” convince their parents to rescue them again or “bail” them out of rehab. Tough love is sometimes neccesary. Many of these parents have spent a lot of emotional and financial effort to give their child a chance at getting professional help and are trying to save their children’s lives.

Questions to ask yourself:

  1. Is your child acting like they are entitled to things or your money, or demanding things?
  2. Do you feel like you are living from crisis to crisis with your child?
  3. Are you sacrificing too much while your child takes no responsibility?

Parents face a difficult situation when trying to figure out how to help their children with their addiction issues. We all want to help our loved ones through their struggles in life, but it is often hard for a parent to understand the difference between helping or enabling. Enabling is helping too much and allows the destructive behaviour to continue, fixing problems for others that they could do themselves and doesn’t allow the child to grow or gain responsibility. Tough love is quite often the only way to save your child’s life.

As the child (often adult children) progress into the grips of addiction the lies and manipulation increase. They will make their parents feel shame or guilt and use every excuse to try and get you to “help” them. Giving them money and absorbing the consequences of the addicts actions just prolongs active addiction and delays the addict from accepting the help that would truly benefit them.

What can you as an enabling parent do?

  • Tough Love
  • Don’t be persuaded by the lies, manipulation, excuses or stories your child makes up.
  • Loving your child doesn’t mean you can’t say “no”
  • Offer helpful options such as a counsellor, 12 step meetings or possibly an addiction treatment centre.
  • Realize that your child may say and do things to hurt you, but don’t give in.

It may feel like you are the only ones in this situation but your not alone. There are support groups available to help you through these difficult times and know that it isn’t you, its the addiction taking over your child. Tough love may be the best option.

Or call or text 1-829-932-0123 for assistance

Relapse Prevention at Always Hope: A Testimony

relapse prevention

Relapse Prevention at Always Hope: A Testimony

relapse preventionMy story of arriving at Always Hope may sound familiar to some of us uniquely thinking we are alone.

Áfter over six years of sobriety, AA meetings that tapered off once the raising and caring for family became a priority. A move from one Alberta town to another, becoming involved in community, meeting topnotch folks the excuses abounded and AA became nonexistent. Denial raised its ugly head and I slowly started “socially drinking”.

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Choices and Addiction

choices and addiction

Choices and Addiction

Always Hope counsellor Jim’s analysis of how addiction affects the choices that are made in our life.

In our lives we face choices everyday, but when there is an addiction present in our lives, our choices are made as the result of an addicted brain. This usually causes our choice to be based on selfishness and self-centeredness. That is to say, the choice is made as a means of hiding our using, getting more to use and using more often, and prioritizing our use of drugs over most everything else. Our choice is then made for us by a diseased brain.

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Suboxone Withdrawals and Detox made easy

suboxone-detox-1

Suboxone Withdrawals and Detox

were Easier than Expected

I am a heroin addict, now addicted to suboxone. I had been taking suboxone for two years when I tried to quit for good. I lasted a week then relapsed. I knew I needed help and could not do this by myself. I searched around for rehabs. I had no Insurance and not a whole lot of money, at least not as much money as rehabs in the states wanted. That is when I found Always Hope.

I came here excited but scared, excited to see a new country I have never been to but scared I was going to have to kick the suboxone again. I saw the doctor upon arrival and we set up a plan for my inevitable detox. To my surprise it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I got settled in pretty quick I had my own room and started counseling with Jim the next day. Roger took me to play basketball and get some exercise that night followed up with some coconut water, and I felt pretty good. I had to fight through a couple days of not feeling my best but I must say, I felt way better this time then I did alone at my house.

I got into a routine, waking up early, working out, playing basketball, going to the beach, seeing things and places I have never seen in my life. A week had past and I really felt great. This was turing more into a caribbean vacation. I was still doing my counseling during the day but I was seeing beautiful beaches, and amazing waterfalls it was a real treat. These days out really made me forget about everything and just enjoy life. I am very grateful I was able to come here, get clean, and leave with a solid plan for my future. Not to mention a great tan!

Thanks Roger, Shauna and Jim.

Call or text 1-829-932-0123 to see how Always Hope can help you.

Targeting my Emotions, Not just the 12 Steps

emotions

Targeting my Emotions, Not just the 12 Steps

At first just like many people, I was very scared to commit to recovery so far away from my home in Vancouver to the Dominican Republic. I have not left my home for more then a week in my life, and it was a very tough decision. Being 23, I am used to being around my family and girlfriend. I also have never quit drugs in my 9 years of using, never been to a long term treatment centre, gone to meetings or even seen a councillor.

After a lot of thought, my mind was made up, I decided to jump in to my recovery with both feet. Choosing to be away from home was hard, but the positives outweighed the negatives greatly. Firstly, I would not have access to the narcotics I was used to using. Secondly, I would be able to get away from my usual habitat and all the people and problems that came with it. This allowed me to have a clear mind through out this critical month. Although I have to go back home now, I am confident I have learned the skills to deal with my emotions and the scenarios I will inevitably have to face.

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How Addiction took my Life on a Detour

detour addiction

How Addiction took my Life on a Detour

Growing up on a Central Alberta dairy farm I never imagined that my life would take the detour that it did and that I would end up living on a beautiful Caribbean island. This is my my journey from cold and snowy Canada to the Dominican Republic; from dairy farmer to starting an addiction treatment facility in another country.

I had a normal childhood, Mom and Dad were dairy farmers and always around. My brother and 2 sisters were my closest friends growing up as we didn’t have neighbours close enough to play with. School, sports and anything I set my mind to were easily accomplished, it felt like the sky was the limit. In 2000 at the age of 22 and after a couple years of post-secondary education in the field of business I decided to marry my high school sweet heart and come home to the family dairy farm.

Call or text 1-829-932-0123 for more info

It was shortly after coming home to farm that some injuries I had back when I was partying during high school flared up and became chronic back pain and headaches. I had fallen in a bar when I was drunk and smashed half of my teeth, I had fallen of a small cliff when some friends and I were hiking in the mountains. What I thought were just normal injuries at that age due to drinking and smoking pot, turned out to become a major pain when I was just starting to be an “adult”. And that is when the beginning of my detour took place although I didn’t know it at the time.

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Small Rehab: Size Does Matter

small rehab and drug and alcohol addiction

Small Rehab for Drug and Alcohol Addicition

At Always Hope we feel that limiting our size to only 5 guests at a time comes with great benefits. Having a small rehab allows us to offer a welcoming environment and more relaxed atmosphere. It prevents the institutional feel of the larger clinical rehabs.

small rehab and addiction Our goal by keeping our facility a small rehab is to offer the individual support and attention that all addicts deserve and require. This way we can provide a comfortable learning atmosphere where individuals aren’t overwhelmed by groups of large people. This also allows guests to truly connect with us and to engage in more tailored therapy to their specific needs. In larger groups and rehabs you may be one of 25-40 people listening to a speaker, which tends to make you feel like an audience member rather than being in a small group which usually leads to interactive discussions. With the smaller groups there is more time to express your opinions, thoughts and feelings and to get feedback.

Call 1-829-932-0123 today to find out more about Always Hope

Individualized program – A small rehab can create a program around the input, circumstances and needs of the patient. This means that the traditional one-size-fits-all program approach for each guest goes out the window.

Smaller group sizes – The # of guests enrolled at any given time at Always Hope is much smaller and manageable. This not only makes the setting more intimate, allowing guests to get to know everyone much faster but helps to increase comfort levels. This also means that each guest receives the treatment and focus they need to make a full recovery.

Personalized attention – This offers a safe zone, a place where our guests can unwind without associating with others who actively abuse illicit substances. Each patient receives thorough, personal attention in order to treat his or her individual problems. Also the many hours of daily 1-1 counselling is highly beneficial.

A sense of connection – It is much easier to connect with other clients and staff in a small, private addiction treatment program. Even though this is not necessary, it will ensure that our guests don’t feel alone with his or her problems. Feeling connected and feeling that you have someone to talk to or lean on when it becomes difficult is often beneficial, especially during those stressful early days of sobriety.

No waitlists – Many of the larger public rehab centres have a long waitlist before a patient can enrol. Time is usually of the essence and it is important to move quickly. We at Always Hope have a very small or no waitlist for admission, and very minimal requirements.

Are there Drawbacks? Of course, there is no one particular recovery option that has all benefits with no downsides. There are two minor drawbacks to opting for a private small rehab:

Cost – Private rehabs may be unaffordable for some people. We at Always Hope understand this and try to be as flexible as possible with cost and length of stay. Due to the fact we are located in the Dominican Republic we can keep the cost down because of lower expenses and we pass the savings on to our guests.

Location – This may be a drawback for some and a benefit for others. While some people prefer to go rehab close to home to hopefully have the close support of friends and family, being close to home also allows for an easy escape if commitment issues come up. Going to location further away can be beneficial because of the change in environment, the feeling of a brand new start and also to show their true commitment to sticking it out.

All in all we believe the benefits of attending a small rehab are worth it.
Call us at Always Hope to check availability or to find out more about our program.

1-829-932-0123

Addiction Help and Advice for the Families

addiction help

Addiction Help and Advice for the Families

addiction help familyQuite often family and friends are burdened and negatively affected by the actions or behaviours of those struggling with an addiction. Living with someone in active addiction can be burdensome and draining emotionally, physically and also financially. I would like to offer some addiction help to all of you who may be affected. These are based on my own experiences and from lessons I have learned from others.

Remember 3 things to start with

  1. You didn’t cause the addiction. In life sometimes “shit happens”.
  2. You can’t control the addict/alcoholic or their addiction.
  3. You can’t stop drinking or using for someone else.

Addiction help for the addict/alcoholic:

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Decision, Decision: How do I Choose?

decision

Decision: Why do people choose Always Hope Addiction Treatment?

With a multitude of different options available out there, I thought I’d highlight the benefits of Always Hope to help guide you in your decision. A one-size-fits-all mentality isn’t useful and so it is good there are many different facilities and philosophical ideologies to choose from. There are the tax-payer funded government funded programs, to the average priced private facilities and all the way up to the luxurious places for the rich and famous (celebrity rehab). We strive to be in the somewhere between the later 2, we have our cost at the low-end of the private facilities but the attention to detail, our luxurious facilities, our location and our small size allows us to be affordable for most people and also a place where you won’t be treated as just another statistic going through the system.

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Hope for Recovery: Life after Oxy’s

addiction

Hope for Recovery: Life after Oxy’s

Recovering from an addiction can be a difficult process. The road isn’t always smooth and you will probably encounter obstacles, challenges, hardships and heartaches. But it’s a journey that everyone hoping to recover from addiction makes. It is the only way to move from a life of destruction to a happy and healthy life. I hope that sharing a bit of my story about my experience, strength and hope I can help you realize you are not alone.

hope

“I never thought I would be where I am today. Today my lovely wife and 2 boys enjoy living in the Dominican Republic. We are blessed to have the opportunity to enjoy a lifestyle I never dreamt possible. Sand and surf is just minutes away, and I am lucky to have much more time available to spend with my family due to the fact that I’m no longer chasing a high, and we have created a business that allows for much more quality family time.

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