The King (or Queen) Baby Syndrome is explained as a condition that relates to emotional development delays usually stemming from abuse, trauma or early drug use. Fear of loss of control is the hallmark of this condition. This syndrome is common with addicts and alcoholics and can create attitudes and actions that can become ingrained patterns over time. King Baby Syndrome is characterized by:
- You believe that your needs come first and foremost without or with little concerns of others.
- Having blinders on when it come to the perspectives of others.
- “My way or the highway” attitudes.
- Extreme arrogance.
- Dependency, but wanting to appear fiercely independent.
- Acquisition of money or possessions to prove their worth to others (outside looks good).
- The need for continual validation, from loved ones, friends or even strangers.
- Castastophizing events, no matter how small (making a big deal out of small things).
- Feelings of being misjudged and underappreciated (want credit for doing even little things).
- Expression of superiority that masks their true insecurities (comparing yourself to others).
- Jumping to conclusions.
- Egotistical pride.
- Lack of trust in yourself or others.
- Expecting to be treated with unearned respect and others to treat you special.
- Thinking you can read the minds or behaviour of others (usually negatively).
This sense of entitlement impacts every relationship, as those who are close to people who exhibit these attitudes and behaviours will attest. At home it may appear as if this person is tyrannical, ruling with a heavy hand that has family members quivering in fear. In the workplace, it could show up as a controlling boss who leaves no room for employees to think for themselves or act independently and takes credit for their work, or an employee that is always sabotaging others good work any chance they get thereby looking better then they really are. In friendship, it may look like gathering loyal followers and favouring those who model themselves after him or her, while rejecting those who don’t.
Healing begins with Awareness and Willingness
In order to treat King Baby Syndrome, it benefits those who see some of these characteristics in themselves. A person with this syndrome will have to learn that all their needs will not be met immediately without some work put in to the process by them. Since the desire for immediate gratification is a big part of the addiction cycle, this can be particularly challenging. An addict can ask themselves “What is it that I fear most if I cannot get what I want when I want it?” This question could help the addict look for alternatives to the drug using, such as some physical or mental activity to take the place of getting high. For some they may feel that they are a helpless child, crying in the crib, waiting for their caregiver, who may arrive to meet all their needs, or perhaps not show up at all, or may come but be abusive or pain giving rather than relief. For others, it may be fear of emotional or physical obliteration (destruction) or abandonment.
In treatment these issues can be addressed successfully if there is a willingness to be honest about it and move beyond it. Learning self-acceptance, as well as seeing oneself as whole and complete with the excessive need for outside validation and doing an inventory that addresses the ways in which these attitudes and behaviours both serve and sabotage their lives, are among the keys to the castle that may help them to leave safely without falling into the moat of addiction.
As frightening as it may seem to take off the crown and hand over the sceptre, it allows us to all recognize that the emperor does have no clothes and beneath it all, we all have our wounds that call out for healing and relief.
Call or message 1-829-932-0123 for assistance today.