My life married to an addict…….after Rehab: The wife’s perspective.
I was petrified picking up my husband from rehab, it was Fricken scary! I was so angry at him for what he had put me and our two sons through! For what he had done to himself.
For weeks after that initial day I could not trust him, every time he went to town or anywhere, I wondered if he was going to use again? Where was he really going?
My painful past was still so fresh in my mind that it consumed me!
I wanted security and happiness back!
I had to give him the chance to prove to me that he was serious, that he was trustworthy again? I also Knew him so well at this point, we had been together for 16 years.
I remembered when he was playful, thoughtful and Romantic. I knew he was a great Father, or I wouldn’t have married him in the first place.
I remembered the “Good old days”
It was hard to trust him for quite some time, and what had helped me the most was going to Recovery meetings, faithfully, twice a week for two and a half years, with my husband!
Hearing him tell his story over and over again in front of a dozen people in the room, was inspiring. watching them flock towards him after each hour long meeting, asking him “How did you do it?” Friends in these rooms would say, I want what you have, I want my family back, my wife back. People were drawn to him because of what they heard in his voice and saw in his eyes, after hearing his story.
Putting his feelings right out there for everyone to see. He was basically apologized for what he had done, week after week! He didn’t care who was listening.
My experience after my Husband finished rehab, turned out to be a positive one.
My husband wanted to get sober, he was sick and tired …….of being sick and tired.
Yes it took time for him and I to gain our confidence back. And even more time to rebuild our family structure and our marriage, our relationship. It wasn’t instantly, it took years!
Then after a couple years of being sober, he wanted more, he wanted to help others, just like he was helped to get their lives back? He thought of giving them a place to go and get treatment and to start their own journey of recovery!
Still in his recovery, he can share with others in their recovery, we now have a place for people who are struggling to go and his success is a great testimonial or testimony to benefits of confronting and getting help with his or your addiction.
I admire him, for getting the help he needed and now for what he is trying to do and be! Being married to an addict wasn’t how I planned life to be, but looking back I’m grateful for the life we have today.
To contact me privately email me at shpalsma@gmail.com or call 1-829-932-0123 to get in immediate contact with Always Hope.